Life After School

I still can't believe, that for the first time in my life, my primary occupation is something other than that of "student". When I filled out camp forms late in the Spring, with graduation looming, out of habit the occupation line read 'student' in my hurried scrawl, but I knew by the time camp rolled around it would change to 'barista'. Or 'nanny'. Or 'writer'. Depending upon the day.

Crazy. 

I don't regret the choice at all, as a matter of fact I relish the idea of, for likely the only time in my life, a job where I clock out and am off the clock in being a barista.  I love the kids I care for.  And in my writing and in the combination of all of these things, I have a chance to figure out what it is to be an adult.  

I have a chance to pursue my passions for writing and creating and it is exactly what the doctor ordered, especially coupled with the fact that there are facets in which I will be able to nurture people and be pastor, too, without it as a job title: I slowly discover the truth in the words of a mentor that, no matter where I am, God will have me living out my call. 

Above all, I am thrilled beyond measure that I get to re-discover and discover with greater depth God's awesomeness in my adventures this year, and God's hand in who I am and who I'm becoming... In the art coming from my heart and soul, in the movement and stillness, in the flurry of emotions that will surely beset me in the coming months. 

And God's pull toward my purpose is a strong one, and one I seek to follow more closely every day. This is a great journey, which, though it is a very figurative one in this moment, will hopefully (prayerfully, passionately, excitedly) become a very literal one in the coming months. 

I'm blessed to have the chance. 

A letter to my church: March 2013

Hey y’all, it’s me again.

I’ll be back in with you in print a few times, and back with you in person pretty soon, and I’m sure there are a lot of questions about why and how I’ve gone through the ordination process to get to this point. 

In 2010, when I applied to Seminary, I also formally began the process of seeking ordination in the Christian Church(Disciples of Christ) through the region of Georgia and this church.  So my sponsor from the congregation and long-time mentor, Bill Moore, wrote a letter, the board voted on me, and off I went to Columbia Seminary in Decatur, where I’ll finish up on May 18(which is creeping up faster than I thought it would!)

So, in the past 3 years, I’ve met 4 times with the Regional Commission on Ministry.  I’ve written papers, undergone interviews, and am now filling out search and call papers(Search and call is the process used to match pastors with churches.  My paperwork will be filed with the national office for when I am ready to enter the process) and meeting the final requirements for ordination.

It’ll be a whirlwind summer.  I’ll move off-campus after graduation, spend a week or two counseling camp, and continue to work in the coffee shop that’s taught me a lot about people this year.  I’ll be home again too, and I plan to spend as much time with y’all as I can manage. 

Can’t wait.  It’ll be a great summer!

Love,

Sarah

Journey to Ordination

This is a letter that has(or will soon) go to my church.  There will be a few like it as I complete the journey toward ordination, and I'd really like to share them with you now... As a way of tracing my journey for myself, and for my loved ones who don't get my church newsletter.

My dear church,

It’s crazy to think a month has passed since I got to preach for you about my call.

Now I want to tell you where it started.

If you’ve heard me preach, you know I hold a special place in my heart for Camp Christian.  I grew up counting down the days to Camp Christian every Summer, and to Youth Assembly at Epworth every winter.  These youth assemblies made God accessible to me and also put me in touch with people who’d influence my faith for the rest of my life. 

Camp is holy ground, where God comes close to earth, and we come so close to God, that we can hear one another.  I felt the truth in the love of God for me (Yes! Me!) the first time I went to camp.  There were people there who helped me sort out all of the things an 11-year old girl needs to sort out, and where it didn’t matter if I was part of the “in crowd”… I was a child of God and that was enough.  Over the years, the fact that I am a child of God took on deeper meaning and was felt more deeply at camp:  It’s the place where I first worked with youth as a Chi Rho counselor, and where I’ve watched those first youth grow up.  It’s where I did a lot of my growing too.

If you ever had any doubt about camp, set it aside.  It’ll change your life, whether you go as a camper or a counselor.  I truly believe that, with all my heart, because I experience it every time I go.  And even though I’m a counselor now, I might have to count down the days till I’m there again…

See you soon,

Sarah

Starting Again

In the new year, it seems to be the tendency of many to begin something new, or to pick up old hobbies/practices/diets.


There are pots of tea that wait for mugs and friends and conversation.
Blank composition notebooks waiting to be filled with thoughts, dreams, prayers, and worries.
By my bed, books of reflections and deovtions wait to be read and thought and prayed over.
There are sermons to write and preach.

My bike has been largely stationary, waiting to be a bike instead of a sculpture, since I fell off of it in March last year.
There are SEVERAL containers full of fabric and a much-neglected (although not as much recently) sewing machine that beckon me to act in creativity.
There are pots and pans and recipe cards that could all use a workout.
There's a gym membership that is waiting to be renewed.
Dance shoes that want to go on my feet and move me across a floor.

And, lest we forget, syllabi, books for class, papers, exams, committee meetings, and pile upon pile of paperwork that will cross my desk in the coming months.

And a (very cute) calender that I'm not sure will hold it all.

But, you know, so many of these things are soul-filling, and necessary.  There are things here that contribute so much to who I am and who God means for me to be, and I think that the power of a support system and the sanity saving of that calendar and those lovely to-do lists it'll happen.

And if it doesn't, life WILL go on.

Resolutions: A Redux and a look forward

Last year, I got specific in a big way in a journal entry that was several pages long, but I put it in a nutshell for you guys and I'll put the central kernel of that nutshell here for the whole world to see, once more:

"I want to end this year further down the path to who I am."

And you know (whoever YOU are), I think I did.
I think that it is inevitable to grow... But I like to think that I did lots of that this year.  Selfish of me, I know, but one's twenties are meant to be selfish.  Kyoko Escamilla had it right in the quote featured in this doodle.

And I want to be selfish, and build up the cocoon of this community to strengthen myself for what life is to look like:  I want to keep growing into who I am meant to be, and who God is forming me to be, in all of the messiness, the hope, the tears, the dancing, and the songs.

Can I get an Amen?

Lent and Looking to Holy Week

In many ways, some of my Lenten practices will not end on Easter Sunday... and I don't think I ever really intended for them to.

I have faithfully read a chapter a week of Practicing Our Faith…

Times of Yearning, Practices of Faith.

Honoring the Body.

Hospitality.

Household Economics.

And this week, Saying Yes and Saying No.

There are lots of chapters left, and, turning to Holy week, I find myself convicted in some practices and wanting to more fully delve into the discovery of others.  Sabbath’s importance has been realized on this Lenten journey, and I have learned that there are many miles left on the journey. But the thing that is important to me right now is that the journey has begun and I am convicted in it.  

These practices interweave… When you honor your body, there is a sense of extension into saying yes and saying no.  Practices of good faithful household economics mean we are able to extend hospitality, and that we are encouraged to consider how we care for our planet and ourselves… and we learn to say no to the excess and the things we do not need in our lives, and to say yes with our time and our money and our energy to the things that matter and that encourage hospitality and honoring the body.

This is an AMAZING book.  For individuals and for communities.  I highly encourage it.

Noise and Sounds

There is something to removing distractions… and, it’s funny how sometimes it takes something disciplined to bring out the need for disciplines.  I think that one of the lovely things about silence is that it is an effort these days, and one so very worth it.

I can’t say I have been as successful as I would like in making room for silence in my life these days- there are so many noises that seem to demand attention- right now- and I, all too often, listen.  Computers whir away, and keys click-clack.  Ads play on the radio.  I respond to the email or I play that game someone just challenged me to… I check a little screen again and again, and the noises keep coming.

Noise is not the only thing demanding my attention though, and for that I am infinitely grateful.  Sometimes, and gratefully more often than noise, it is sound… Laughter.  Prayer.  Affirmation.  Thoughts voiced.  Soft chatter of people talking, really talking, in the background of a coffee shop.   And, a favorite, to which I hope to drift off this evening, the sound of rain pit-patting on windows.


Sound is God's music of the world when we're not quite ready for silence, and I am thankful for it these days.

Advent at home

Black Friday shopping…

I understand the point of knocking it all out early, but taking away family time for those who work in retail… especially with the sales starting at midnight, even 10:00 on Thanksgiving day. 

I heard Christmas music playing already in many places, before Thanksgiving.

And now we have Small Business Saturday. 

Cyber Monday.

Constants.  Telling us to buy buy buy more. Why?

I just… want to get back to a sense that Christmas is about the Christ Child.  Advent- that month of getting ready that comes before Christmas, is supposed to be about preparation.  In our hearts, in our homes.  Not about gifts… especially not about stressing out over finding the time and money to buy all kinds of gifts and go into debt… So to remember that, Christmas in my home, the very first one of my own, is home-made this year. 

I’m not buying many things.  And when I buy things, you can be sure they will not be given alone, and very rarely be new.  Somehow, it just makes more sense to me to give from the heart- and for me, that’s with my hands.

Some random things...

Today, I'm booked. But it's a good kind of booked...

Church Carnival from 8-2

Make a dress or take a nap

casserole in the oven

Luau

Go dance! Live band! Become an official card-carrying ASEDA member!

Also, I love Old Navy. I ordered things online which are pending shipment, and paid... oh, half price from the original total. Thanks to a coupon and things being on sale. Only one shirt was full price, out of the 7 or 8 things I picked out. And free shipping? Heck yes! Summer basics I'm too lazy to sew and have absolutely no need to try on because I already have some version of them? Heck yes!

And finally, God is good. Family have been spared from tornado damage, and I realize not everyone was so blessed. But there are already organizations hard at work to begin to make things right when their world was turned upside down. It puts things in perspective, bigtime. Finals and papers are small potatoes by comparison.

We are small. God is good.

Yesterday was a long day, but I learned some very important things. Like where I can and can't get work done. And that limits exist for good reason, and although I have come far with time management, I still have FAR to go.

But that's not what I wanted to tell you about.

Yesterday, while frantically trying to get through the list of tasks that never seems to end, I found that we are small, and actions can speak SO much louder than words at times. It's Holy Week. A hug made a big difference. And chocolate made a difference, bigtime.

But as I was writing the sermon I am preaching tonight, I was a bit of a me-monster, and got very bent out of shape about something that, in the grand scheme of things, is small potatoes. It took something completely small and kind of rediculous- getting sprinkled on while on the way to my apartment- to remind me that I am but a brushstroke. I'm just someone continuing this magical tradition of sharing the word of God with God's people, and my job in that right now is to get out of God's way.

God is good. God sends us those reminders when we are close to tears or already crying, and good things come out of what God gives us to say... But not when we don't listen. And to listen, sometimes we just have to be still... let the starch go out of our spines and sit and eat with friends instead of wolfing down food by ourselves... God loves us and cares for us, but there's only so much God can do if we aren't willing to love ourselves and our neighbors.

Sermon in 7 hours, class in... oh, 1 and a half?

I should get some work done, I just thought I'd share.