on bin Laden

Part of me doesn’t know how to feel about the death of Osama bin Laden.

I know the world, definitely the USA, went crazy when it was announced, and I will probably remember for a long, long time that I was swing dancing when the news broke, and I stood in a smoke-filled bar, and my eyes stung while I read the captions of Obama’s speech about what happened. I remember being relieved- because the death of bin Laden probably means a deeper sense of closure for so many families- from those who lost loved ones on September 11 to those whose sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters have put on a uniform to protect our country and didn’t come home. It’s a very important period on the end of a hard sentence for them, but not the end of the story.

Am I happy? I don’t know. Grateful? If it means that lives of people the world over are safer I’m glad that he’s not here anymore, and I think they are… but I think that how people are talking-celebrating- bashing the administration- in light of these events is tough. Wrong, even. Many people have had many things to say about the death of bin Laden, and I think there will be much said in the coming weeks. I’ll watch anxiously- and hope that Americans can grow past these… unfair, fired-from-the-hip reactions. Some of the signs posted and the facebook statuses are unfair to those who have lost loved ones- for those who see this as the grave thing it is. Celia wrote here about it in a very intelligent and passionate manner, and I wish more people could express themselves that fully. It’s going to change things in a very big way, and I don't think that the American people as a whole see that yet.

It’ll change my future because a dead bin Laden changes the future of the military and what the fight looks like… which I think I will watch more closely than I have in the past.

My hope and prayer, first and foremost, is that bin Laden's death brings a sense of closure, and that it will be followed by peace.

Some random things...

Today, I'm booked. But it's a good kind of booked...

Church Carnival from 8-2

Make a dress or take a nap

casserole in the oven

Luau

Go dance! Live band! Become an official card-carrying ASEDA member!

Also, I love Old Navy. I ordered things online which are pending shipment, and paid... oh, half price from the original total. Thanks to a coupon and things being on sale. Only one shirt was full price, out of the 7 or 8 things I picked out. And free shipping? Heck yes! Summer basics I'm too lazy to sew and have absolutely no need to try on because I already have some version of them? Heck yes!

And finally, God is good. Family have been spared from tornado damage, and I realize not everyone was so blessed. But there are already organizations hard at work to begin to make things right when their world was turned upside down. It puts things in perspective, bigtime. Finals and papers are small potatoes by comparison.

Back to goals.

It’s time for me to get back to goals… I did well through February setting and sticking to them, and something happened in the month of March that just… disenchanted me from being able to stick with it. March brought Lent and some focusing on other things with the church, and then before I knew it April was gone too without a real goals post. So, seeing as how it’s almost May, I think I’ll pick up again there.

I am really intent on finishing the schoolyear well, so I think my first goal will be to not stress-eat. The amount of chocolate I’ve consumed lately is reaching larger and larger portions… and while sick, I didn’t do so hot with the healthy eating in general or the working out. Tomorrow marks the return to Spin Class, and I think I am getting back to some healthier eating practices already. Here’s to continuing that trend… And the dancing.

I think sewing consistently is the next thing… My total count for the year in garments is 6, or 8 if you count accessories, so getting back to 3 a month would be good. There are some quick fixes I need to do too…

Budgeting will be the other big thing for the month of May… Both May and June will be expensive months for gas and spending in general with trips, so keeping myself in line with my spending elsewhere would be a really good start. It looks like I will be paying regular, big girl bills starting in June, and doing that budgeting would be really great too. It’s all about being conscious of using what you buy, and only buying what you will use… At least, I am trying to be better about seeing it that way.

Sticking with my current spiritual practices would be really good too… But I want to develop more as well. I think it’s really going to be a challenge to do self-care well next year while working at a church, so I want to establish those practices now. Make them habits that stick.

Oh well. Right now, I need to go get everything together for class tonight!

Today...

... I preach sermon #4 in a 30-day period.

... And that'll be the end of one class. 3 more to finish before I'm done with my first year of Seminary. It's unreal to think it's that close... 10 days left of classes, and a week of exams before I'm a middler- I can't believe it.

Wish me luck today. Happy Easter Monday, friends.

We are small. God is good.

Yesterday was a long day, but I learned some very important things. Like where I can and can't get work done. And that limits exist for good reason, and although I have come far with time management, I still have FAR to go.

But that's not what I wanted to tell you about.

Yesterday, while frantically trying to get through the list of tasks that never seems to end, I found that we are small, and actions can speak SO much louder than words at times. It's Holy Week. A hug made a big difference. And chocolate made a difference, bigtime.

But as I was writing the sermon I am preaching tonight, I was a bit of a me-monster, and got very bent out of shape about something that, in the grand scheme of things, is small potatoes. It took something completely small and kind of rediculous- getting sprinkled on while on the way to my apartment- to remind me that I am but a brushstroke. I'm just someone continuing this magical tradition of sharing the word of God with God's people, and my job in that right now is to get out of God's way.

God is good. God sends us those reminders when we are close to tears or already crying, and good things come out of what God gives us to say... But not when we don't listen. And to listen, sometimes we just have to be still... let the starch go out of our spines and sit and eat with friends instead of wolfing down food by ourselves... God loves us and cares for us, but there's only so much God can do if we aren't willing to love ourselves and our neighbors.

Sermon in 7 hours, class in... oh, 1 and a half?

I should get some work done, I just thought I'd share.

aaah.

Not a scream, an exhale... just a good day.

Really.

It feels so good to be a "real person" again after being so sick last week- and I think that Tuesdays are just really good days for me spiritually that today has been awesome. I started the day, before I even got out of bed, by just being still and praying for like 5 minutes, and it somehow improved the mindset I had for the whole day. Maybe it's just been a good day, but maybe I'm onto something with this whole starting with God thing....

Add in good news this morning, time with my lifegroup and a semi-productive schoolday? BAM! Now for more productivity- a meeting and fellowship with a co-worker, a paper, and a sermon. The list keeps growing, but I'm back, baby! I feel human again, which is sooo nice after being sick. I forget how much of a wimp I am sometimes.

Holy Week, bring it on.

Bullets of Holy Week

Maybe this is my way of seeing if I can do it all... This week will surely be full to bursting

Monday:

• Staff meeting, class, and paper-writing time.
• Cooking dinner for 3 of my dearest friends!

Tuesday:

• NT paper due... I got an extension because I got Strep/Scarlet Fever... I didn't even know that still existed!
• LOTS of time to work on sermons and papers... oh, and paperwork.
• My awesome life-group meets!
• Camp out after dinner at a coffee shop? I think so!
• Maybe... just maybe... cut out a dress... I'd like to make a new one for Easter.

Wednesday:

• Watch a friend's gorgeous little 3 or 4 month old girl to relieve some stress on her part. I'll take the skirt of that dress to hem, or some embroidery, to give my brain a break.
• Back to translating more make-up work... I'm sure plenty of people will be doing much the same thing
• Dinner with friends
• finish up sermon #1... Preaching Maunday Thursday!
• go dance if my sermon is done
• Clean my apartment... My mama is coming to hear me Maunday Thursday!

Thursday:

• class, then some sermon freak-out time
• finish homework like a crazy person
• class, then my mom is here
• preaching
• wind-down time, maybe with a bottle of wine, definitely with my Easter dress.

Friday:

• Prayer vigil at church
• lunch with a friend from high school and my mama
• more time with my mama
• I'm sure there's homework, there's definitely a scholarship app and a sermon for Monday...

It's possible, right?

Almost Holy Week? Holy cow!

Since last posting, I think I've done okay on many counts.

My Lenten Resolution to give up bad self-care has led to some real honest progress stepping back and taking a long, hard look at life and how I am in relationships and out of them. A friend recommended a book, and it's been good to read on the journey.

I gave another friend my devotional book, as he seemed to need it more than I did in that time, but I think I'm still praying more. I have been meeting weekly with my women's small group at school and that time is so treasured.

Midterms meant a big disruption, but I still managed to sew a bit and dance a lot. I have danced at least once a week and twice many weeks... even 3 times once!

My spin classes paid off- I rode the 48-mile route in the April Fools Ride, held in Millegeville, GA. I'm proud to say I finished- I didn't push my bike at all, pedaled everything. It took 4 hours in the saddle, and between 5 and 5-1/2 total, when you count stopping to stretch and hydrate and do everything possible to keep cramps at bay.

Sewing hasn't stayed at a garment a week, but this is the first time in a long time that I have been sewing this much. On the docket are a petticoat and dress for Easter. Hopefully they'll come together in the time between now and then.

Wow- what a post of I's and my's.

Next time I'll write more about something that isn't me... like re-visiting undergrad.

Lenten resolutions

I gave up bad self-care for Lent.

If you know me, reader, you'll laugh and ask... well how's THAT going for you?

My response?

I'm doing okay... I said the NO- word... to a commitment I couldn't honestly fufill instead of trying to make it work. I'm working out at least twice a week... Spin class hurts so good, but I am already feeling better about my body and seeing improvement. Dancing once a week has given me a lovely way to get active off-campus, and I've made a garment a week so far during Lent.

Praying has happened more, and I am reading along in the Bible study that the church has encouraged for Lenten devotions. As I explore the weirdness thing that is finding a calling, and how to live life as me while pursuing it, I'm trying to be faithful in discerning and it's not always easy. I'm frustrated more than I admit... and I think I'd really be going crazy without the support system I've been able to build here... I am rethinking more and more how I am in relationships, romantic and otherwise...I have an unfortunate tendency to be a hermit if not careful And about how I care for myself. Which is, I think, inter-related.

This resolution of mine will get a real trial-by-fire in the week to come. I have a camp planning session tomorrow, a project for class due Monday and a sermon Wednesday, the day I am also giving blood. Then I have a week and a half before I preach again, and I think an exegesis paper shortly after that second sermon.

Ah, it's the life... off to errands and babysitting.

February and ...March?!

February was good for some things and not so good for others.

Copied-and pasted goals... Italics are completed, comments are in bold.

School:

-READ! What they don't tell you about grad school is that you could easily double the amount of reading you do for undergrad. Easily. Did more reading, still not all of it. But I don't know many people who do all of it.

-Put all assignments in my planner through midterms(one more class worth and I'm done!)

God:

-Pray every day- morning and bedtime(still trying- morning is tough.) Morning is still tough. Better though.

-Read the Bible at least once a week outside of class(so far so good)

Sewing:

-muslin suit jacket(I decided to do a vest without the lining(I don't have fabric) but with facings so I'll have a completed garment... it's all cut out!) After a minor freakout, there is progress!

-refashion sweater(started)

-cut out entire suit this project has been put on hold due to its seasonal nature... August or September?

-construct suit jacket ditto.

Home:

-supply missing kitchen things(done)

-do dishes before bed to wake up to a clean kitchen(hasn't happened as much since school really got underway- I am getting there!)

-Keep laundry under control

Health:

-work out 3 times a week

-try for 3 meatless non-breakfast meals a week

-go dance! salsa once, swing once... sooo much fun twice!

Look for March's goals tomorrow, and a return to weekly or more frequent posting soon.